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Don't touch me.

Merry Christmas you faggot.

I hope you get coal in your stocking.

What would I do without Alvin Earthworm to provide me with a non-stop source of selfish, indelicate arguments to complain about? You see, I unquestionably believe that Alvin serves as a conduit that carries the élan vital of ageism. And because of that belief, I'm going to throw politeness and inoffensiveness to the winds. In this letter, I'm going to be as rude and crude as I know how, to reinforce the point that ancient Greek dramatists discerned a peculiar virtue in being tragic. Alvin would do well to realize that they never discerned any virtue in being hypersensitive. The "facts" he has often stated contain some serious distortions. Some are blatant; others are subtle. One of the most unsympathetic is his discussion of libidinous self-promoters.

Still, Alvin is obviously hiding something. It is no more complicated than that. He presents himself as a disinterested classicist lamenting the infusion of politically motivated methods of pedagogy and analysis into higher education. Alvin is eloquent in his denunciation of modern scholarship, claiming it favors what I call bleeding-heart quiddlers. And here we have the ultimate irony, because inasmuch as I disagree with Alvin's accusations and find his ad hominem attacks offensive, I am happy to meet Alvin's speech with more speech and, if necessary, continue this discussion until the truth shines.

For all of the foregoing reasons, I can confidently claim that we must fight scurrility and slander. Our children depend on that. How dare Alvin criticize my values when his are so obviously unprincipled? If he gets his way, none of us will be able to examine the warp and woof of Alvin's activities. Therefore, we must not let him waste hours and hours in fruitless conferences and meetings. The facts are in: Alvin Earthworm's ideals smack of nepotism.

P. S. This was made with a complaint generator, FUCK YOU.

1# Suck off the fulps.

2# Fill your movies with hentai and anime.

3# Add in Sonic, Mario and Naruto.

4# Rely on motion tweens and sprites.

5# Steal polys and joke from 4chan, YTMND and anime shows. (Use no orignal jokes because people hate that.)

6# Go apeshit over everyone that criticizes you.

7# fffffffffffff fuck you

DO IT

Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
(yeah)
We Gone Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
(You Hear Me?)

Everybody Want A Piece of My Chicken
Southern Fried Chicken
Finger Lickin'
(You Hear Me) x4

I Got A Pan
I Got A Plan
Imma Fry Dis Chicken In My Hand

I Got Some Hot Grease
And A Whole Chicken
Go on Wash Ya Hands
Cause You Gone Be Lickin' Em

Big Ol' Thang Of Fries
Spice All On Em
My Fried Chicken
Gone Take You Ova!

Everybody Want
A piece of My Chicken
Peaches Got That Fresh
Hot Ghetto Fried Chicken

Everybody Want A Piece of My Chicken
Southern Fried Chicken
Finger Lickin'
(You Hear Me) x4

Now Where My Hot Sauce
I Don't Want No Catsup
Just One Big Juicy
Jalapeno Pepper

White Meat
Dog Meat
It Don't Even Matter!

Hangin' With Peaches
Gone Make You Fatter

Imma Warn You Now
Baby Here's The Deal
One Piece Of My Chicken
You Can Call Dr. Phil

Its Finger Lickin'
Its Real Chicken
Yall Know You Want
A Piece Of My Chicken!

Everybody Want A Piece of My Chicken
Southern Fried Chicken
Finger Lickin'
(You Hear Me) x4

Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
(Yeah)
We Gone Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
Fry Dat Chicken
(You Hear Me)

You Like The Wings (Yup)
You Like The Thigh (Yup)
You Like The White Meat (Yup)
You Like The Leg (Yup) (Yup) x4

Everybody Want A Piece of My Chicken
Southern Fried Chicken
Finger Lickin'
(You Hear Me) x4

(You Hear Me?)

Look its a niggger

pfft.

God damn Newgrounds won't accept my picture.

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